Experiencing a rupture
Hello, guys! It's been a while since the last time I was here to interact.
Between september and october, when I was around and taking classes in SVS, I was unemployed for about three months or so. These months were really a bliss in terms of creation and feeling satisfied with the rhythm my art was developing, but at some point things started to get a little tough because I became tight on money.
So, by the end of october, a friend of mine called offering a job as a designer in an advertising agency, and because I couldn't wait anymore for a job that I wanted to do, I took the offer and got the job.
Thing is, it's been three weeks since I started working there. My job doensn't offer me any challenge, I basically just cut photos and fill in templates, and to make things worse, I rarely get any chance to draw ever since, except for weekends, when I'm deadly tired. I feel that being taken apart from the creative environment I had been on my previous work, and the creative flow I created for me in the months I've been unemployed, is taking a toll on me.
Have any of you ever experienced any rupture like that? How did you cope with the fact that you have to endure being taken so far from where you want to be?
Yes yes yes yes yes a thousand times yes! I have been through that a couple times. The economy imploded a year after I graduated so I've been through multiple layoffs but the upside was I was always really productive during those times. Right now I'm unemployed again because we moved back to our home state.
When I worked full time in production I never wanted to create my own stuff because I was tired and had already been on a computer all day. However when I had what I would call my hardest job ever, physically and creatively, I loved it. It wasn't hard to make things on my own time.
I don't know. I think I'm just babbling now but I can definitely relate. An artist I know, and used to work with, who has found a lot of success was really inspiring to me. During the day he worked in graphic design for a screen printer and all of his free time went to his own projects. He was driven. Four years later he has quit that job because he can support himself with gallery sales and he's a designer for his friends' brewery. I think you just have to tell yourself "this is my dream and I'm going to work on it! Sleep be darned!" or something like that.
Ben J Hutchison
I get what you are saying. Work does interrupt the flow you started but I think it just means you have to start a new flow. It will take time to figure out how to do that, but unless you have the luxury of not having to work, this is just how it goes. I think most of us here are not career illustrators and have to do this on the side until we can get somewhere when we can do the work we really want to do. But I do have a suggestion. Find and read the book daily rituals. It goes over the daily rituals of many writers, musicians, and artists as to how they organized their day to do their work. It might give you some ideas of how to organize your life to let you do more work. I also remember Jake saying in one of the courses when asked how he did both his day job and the work he wanted to do, he said he did his work work quick to get to the stuff he wanted to do.
Also, don't discount how lucky you were that you had that 3 months to create a foundation for the work you do want to do. Now you have something to build from.
Hey Joyce, sorry to hear about your situation. Not a fun place to be in. Maybe this video might provide some insight? It's by Bobby Chiu and he talks about something similar to what you've described. It's a good listen while you draw :)
Sorry to hear about that @joyce_carmo, it’s always great to have income but tricky to get the balance right between doing the sensible stuff and following your dreams. I’ve been in a similar situation with a day job tiring me out but still wanting to get somewhere else in the meantime. And even now, there still a tension between the art I have to do, and the art I’d really like to do.
The one thing I would say that hasn’t been said already, is if you can manage it, try not to let your momentum stop completely - if you’re too tired to do any art when you get home, then (if you can manage it) watch an SVS video, browse an art book or just think about the stuff you’d like to paint when you’re not tired. That way at least you'll keep doing the thinking part of things, and stuff will seep into your subconscious even if you're not putting pen to paper. I found that when I stopped doing my ‘for me’ art, it was SO easy just to let the rest of life take over, and to stop doing it, and not even think about it, for weeks or months, even.
What a bummer! I understand about needing the $$. I work as a property manager as my 'job'. It's not glamours or creative but it leaves me some free time to create and not burnt out. I think Will Terry did a video on his Youtube channel about something like what you are going thru. A student was asking him if he should look for a creative 'job' while pursuing his Illustration career. The guy worked at Home Depot. Will suggested he continue working at HD so he was excited about making art when he got home. Keep your chin up and give yourself a break. You'll figure it out!
I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for your kind answers, support and advice. I knew that if I was gonna find people that would understand what I was going through, it would be here. I watched the video and I read all your comments throughout the week but only today I could find time and strength to come here and say my thanks.
This week was the toughest of all, but after a lot of thinking I decided to quit this job. I feel lucky for having a supportive family and friends, so that I could decide what is best for me. Guess I'll be short on money for a little while, but at least I'll not feel this bad about my job. Feels like I'm lifting a lot of weight from my shoulders, you know? Best feeling ever, after the feeling of accomplishing a hard work, hahaha! :)
Thanks again. Your words of support helped me a lot to sort out my feelings and my future goals. Thank you!
Either wake up an hour earlier or don't watch tv or something on a night and set aside one hour every day to create and after a couple of weeks you'll be in a habit and your brain will get used to creating and you won't be as tired/ If you can't manage an hour, start with 15-20 minutes and work up.
Not sure what else to offer other than the use of the word rupture was pretty awesome. Good word.