Spring Critique do over



  • @Lee-White critiqued my "Speeding Granny" for spring critiques, I am finally getting around to redrawing from his suggestions, still need to take rough sketch to final and color, so grateful for finding SVS

    0_1501352299300_LisaRush_speedinggranny.jpg 0_1501352248257_sg.JPG 0_1501352239905_sg1.JPG



  • WIP.....
    0_1501450541722_grannyspread2.jpg



  • @lmrush it's coming along. 😀 Tip: never underestimate the placement of even the most minor of your images. Detail plays a roll in perception. The placement of the tossing of your fruit, etc., still has a role in eye movement/composition as does the rotation you draw them in. Also consider that they should not all be right-side up in a chaotic upturn. Just an observation. It all looks so cute!



  • @harveywalls thank you so much, I really appreciate you taking the time to help-that makes complete sense :) I have just finished my value study but will change it when I take it to color-thanks again!



  • values....
    0_1501502501373_grannyspreadvalue.jpg



  • Lookn' great. The bananas are sticking out in a weird way to me. They are bigger than the geese and have some strange tangents (under the building, by the tree and the bend of the road. Perhaps move and resize slightly?)



  • @katrina-fowler thank you I will



  • Such a fun piece! This reminds me of my granny! She used to speed up when we would come to a certain dip in the road and we would be airborne for a split second and our stomachs would get all fluttery,

    So in this sketch your back tire doesn't touch the road.

    0_1501517936372_7ba642db-6392-44f2-9f18-3257bd65007a-image.png

    But in your newest sketch the tire visually touches the road. I wonder if it was better in your original sketch, so you really get the sense her car was airborne? What do you think?



  • @tessw OMG you are absolutely right thank you for pointing that out I like the original much better! This was inspired by my Mother in law, she was a volunteer firewoman and raced to aid people in her small community-she has a lead foot too!



  • I hope the image I attached translates well to what I am suggesting:

    There is too much road, and by that I mean too many hills. The road hill in the bottom right needs to be pushed back to a little bit left of the rear tire, so the car is launched over the road. Right now, it just seems to be floating oddly. And instead of it jumping up, might be easier to have it on the downward angle to show all the detail in the back of the car.

    Don't cut the front of the car off. Also, the car needs to turn more toward the reader as it launches (as I try to show in my draw over, represented by the 3D rectangle).

    I would have both geese taking off in fear, not running. My poorly drawn goose is supposed to be flying in the direction of the reader, but a bit off to the left.

    As was mentioned before, your fruit needs to be a bit more chaotic, but smaller, as it would be falling out the back of the car.

    Hope this helps! : )

    0_1501735107348_carjump1.jpg



  • @tombarrettillo I love your goose! Thank you so much for your time and suggestions. All great points! I redrew my image from Lee White's suggestions in his draw over in the Art critiques: spring 2016 it is at around 49 minutes- Thank you again for taking time to help :)