New Member - Critique Request



  • Hello! My name is Bob Crum and I am new to SVS learn... I am very impressed with the tutorials and have been thinking it is time to engage in the forums.
    I would love to attach a piece I worked on to see if I can get some critique.
    dangiraffeandApostroPhish.jpg
    The characters here are named Dangiraffe and Apostrophish. I would love to get some feedback (especially on the fish, he is just not working or something). I think I may be too close to the project.
    Many thanks to all who contribute here!



  • Welcome Bob, nice to have you here. Cool painting man. Maybe the thing with the fish would be to give him some props you've got the giraffe all geared out so maybe give the fish a little some'n some'n.....top hat, and cigar??? something cool. Also maybe work some more emotion into the fishes face the giraffe is making that great face so maybe that's the way to go with the fish too. Anyway great image looking forward to seeing more of your work.



  • I think some kind of sidekick's costume would be hilarious... something to change his silhouette would be nice (like the tophat idea) - and I also thought about giving him a big ole grumpy cigar, but didn't do it because I hope to make a children's book of it at some point. Not sure... it's the writing that will kill me.
    Thanks for the feedback! I truly appreciate it.



  • Think about making the fish 'functional' like the giraffe.
    How would the fish get around, how would it breath what types of weaponry would it use etc. The fish bowl makes it seem very unmobile. Does the giraffe carry it around?
    What if the fish wore an old astronaut type outfit with the fishbowl helmet with water?
    If you want to go opposite for weapons he could carry and use a flamethrower type weapon or something else outrageous.

    or maybe just throw a beret on the fish and put him in some sort of fishbowl vehicle.



  • @RChabot I am in love with the idea of putting the fishbowl on his head... that is just awesome. Thank you!



  • I might suggest toning down the background so that the giraffe and fish don't compete as much with it. I would try testing out lightening and desaturating the background a bit to see how it looks.

    The fish has a lot more contrast than the giraffe. To make him flow a bit better with the piece I would either remove some of his detail so that he is more painterly like the giraffe or I would increase the contrast and detail on the giraffe (especially around the head and with his gear).

    All in all this is a fun concept. Good job so far. 😃



  • @laurencrest Good ideas. I think you are right... the tone of the piece is all over the place. I need to analyze that a lot better.
    Thank you!



  • I agree with @RChabot The fish can't get around by himself. He needs a way to function better. I actually had the same idea of a space helmet filled with water. Or you could have a water tank on his back with tubes hooked up to his gills. Giving him something like that would improve his silhouette as well.

    And welcome to the club!