3rd Thursday March WIP Critiques Welcome



  • Hello everyone,

    This is what I'm thinking to send in for March's 3rd Thursday, and am hoping that you guys could tell me if the concept is working/are there problems that jump out at you.

    Thanks in advance!

    JoshSchouwstraWIP.jpg



  • @Josh-Schouwstra Looks great! - edge control is the thing that jumps out to me on this piece - the idea of using crisp lines for focal points and softer edges elsewhere - right now the desk is the crispest item in the composition - the teacher's forearm and face have crisp lines too but I think that the little girl and the creature could benefit from sharper edges here and there - possibly soften the edges of the desk slightly...not sure about that though - other thing to look at might be the teacher's legs - I think the ratio of upper to lower leg may be off a bit - I think the lower legs are too short by a bit and that her right leg in particular has a very long upper leg - the little girls legs too might need a tiny tweak - I would move her right leg(our left) a bit more under her chin - if she is standing with most of her weight on one leg( I am assuming this because that leg is straight) the heel should be somewhere close to being in line with the base of the skull - if not I would bend the knee a bit more - nice idea Josh - look forward to seeing the finished piece.



  • Thanks, I appreciate the critique!

    Definitely will see what it looks like with the changes.



  • Great idea! I love your color choices.

    I think @kevin-longueil made several good points

    I would add that maybe the girls legs should also be longer. Also her shoulders seems a bit wide... She looks a little too "muscular", like she's working out too much ;)! I love her expression/facial features though.

    Final thought, I don't know if it's just me, but at first I thought your teacher was supposed to be a man but than I saw the name "ms kibuishi".. maybe you could make her clothes a little more "feminin" so it's clearer. Especially the colors. I hate stereotypes in real life, but I think here it would help with clarity!



  • @Josh-Schouwstra Hi Josh, I took the liberty of drawing over your work - which is great by the way. I think your concept is spot on! I love that the teacher is petrified. I wonder if a more dynamic pose could sell this concept even more? The sitting pose is falling apart a little in the repetitive shapes in the legs and belly. Nice work!5675676.jpg